For anyone who’s been living blissfully under a rock or just rage-quit mainstream news, let’s catch you up: Donald J. Trump, America’s perpetual headline, admitted he went for an MRI at Walter Reed earlier this month. Of course, that’s like saying Florida occasionally gets rain: the man’s health is a walking question mark with a bad spray tan.

The former president, per his own words, claims this MRI was just flawless—”perfect,” because when is anything less than earth-shatteringly brilliant in Trump world? Still, we’re left with more questions than answers. If everything’s sunshine and lollipops, why keep the details so secret? And, why is even his hand bruising covered up like the world’s cheapest magic trick?

This isn’t just old-man stuff. The White House grudgingly admitted Trump was looked at for swelling in his legs, ending up with a diagnosis of chronic venous insufficiency. In English? The blood in your legs makes less effort to commute back to the heart, because even red blood cells know when to quit. About 150,000 Americans get it annually. The difference? Most of them don’t have a cult following who’d crowdsource donations for their medical bills.

Is this a nothingburger? Maybe. Is it another sign of the deep secrecy surrounding Trump’s physical and mental fitness to hold office again, let alone run around the world pretending nothing’s wrong? Definitely.

Here’s the comedy: Trump told reporters he gave them uniquely comprehensive exam results. “Nobody has ever given you reports like I gave you.” Hilarious, if you ignore that nearly everything was vague PR speak without an ounce of real, medical detail or, you know, a doctor saying anything publicly (Politico).

He also suggested, if the MRI “wasn’t going to be good,” he’d “let you know, negatively.” Sure. Because that’s exactly what every authoritarian ever has done when facing a crisis—admit it to the world. Please.

If you’re wondering why a grown man who claims peak health is hiding bruising on his hand with foundation—well, you’re not alone. This is a man whose ego bruises easier than his knuckles.

Questions linger: Why all the medical tap-dancing? Possibly because Trump is acutely aware that appearing weak is kryptonite to his “alpha male” act. Or maybe, just maybe, his team knows American voters are tired of being lied to about the basics—like whether the man’s blood is pooling in his shoes.

The real story isn’t whether Trump gets a clean bill of health (or just a clean makeup brush). It’s the continued lack of honest transparency, his cultish base lapping up every non-answer as gospel, and the horrifying precedent of a man this secretive about his basic biology possibly taking the White House again.

Americans deserve more from their leaders than smoke and mirrors—especially when the narcissistic ringleader in question is 79, well-documented for midnight rage posts on X (formerly Twitter), and just barely more physically convincing than a wax museum dummy. Source.